Be gay about it.

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The time has come for me to explain my URL. Last month, my partner Jenn and I went skydiving with friends for the third year in a row. That’s right, skydiving. Me. My first two skydives were blow my hair back exhilarating, complete with raucous cheers and exclaimed profanity when my chute plumed open after freefall. My third skydive, however, was very different. I arrived at Atmosphair (note subtle marketing tactic for the best skydiving place ever) that morning expecting to showboat my way through yet another skydive, but Bo, my tandem instructor, had other plans for us that day. He told me that this dive would be all about awareness. ‘Awareness?’, I wondered. ‘Awareness’, he repeated.

As we suited up for our dive, Bo talked about the importance of breathing, of checking in with myself, of listening to my heartbeat. As we walked to the plane, he talked about the love of my friends and how we were all in this together. As we ascended to 11,000 feet, sputtering past cumulus clouds, appraising their shades and height with our widening eyes, he smiled and laughed, reminding me to check in with myself and to listen to my heartbeat. As he clipped in behind me and wiggled his hips into mine, he told me to take in the beauty of the horizon, blue panorama of things timeless and calm. As the door swung up and out and the cold air rushed in, he told me ‘it’s not cold, it feels nice like a breeze’. As we moved, as one, to the open doorway, the riot of fast air engulfing us, I listened to my heartbeat. I breathed. We were out, arcing weightless through the blue, gravity pulling us greedily home to Earth. The chute opened. We hovered downward and I took the rudders of the canopy and, with Bo helping me steer, we flew straight for a cloud. It rolled at us, billowing its whiteness, looking more gray and lavender up close and then the cloud was all around us. We were the cloud and the cloud was us. It smelled like cotton candy rain. Our ride down felt like a great exhale and as we jogged out our landing, the canopy swooning to respite behind us, I felt lighter than when we’d begun.

Prior to the skydive, I had mentioned to Bo that Jenn and I were getting married in a week, thus revealing to him that we’re gay. After the skydive, when Bo asked me how I felt, I told him that I felt happy. He responded, ‘You see? Life–you just have to be gay about it, like in the old sense of the word. Be gay about it.’ Exactly.

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Filed under Bloggin', awareness, peace, reflection, skydiving